SO I HERD YOU LIKE TUMBLR
'How to Fight Presidents?' Like physically? Why would anyone need to know that?

-A Barnes & Noble cashier, to me, today.

But it doesn’t matter because I GOT TO WALK INTO A STORE AND BUY MY BOOK BECAUSE IT WAS ON A SHELF in the “History” section which is, frankly, VERY irresponsible and then after that I BOUGHT SHOES which is unrelated I’m just really bad about buying shoes like I always think WHY SHOULD I BUY SHOES because like I already HAVE SHOES but most of my shoes have HOLES now so I bit the bullet and BOUGHT SOME SHOES that PROBABLY SOMEONE’S BABY MADE or whatever but it’s fine I’m pretty DELIRIOUS RIGHT NOW and I still have to wave this book at this foxy coffee shop barista I see everyday and say ‘I took all the words I know and put them in an order that I hope makes you love me but if not that’s fine I have other word-arrangements I could try out on you large iced-coffee to go please, as well, also.’

(via thisdanobrien)
How important do you think it is that a couple share common interests - for example, being able to geek out over tv shows/books/movies/pop culture? I went a few dates with a guy and he was good looking and nice enough but he could not care less about that sort of stuff. I think you can probably understand caring about that stuff maybe even too much - so it just felt like we had nothing in common. Ugh. Dating is hard.
Anonymous

thisdanobrien:

You were wise to come to me for dating advice. The most important thing in a relationship is communication (I’ve expanded on this point in chapters six and seven in my new book How to Fight Presidents, available everywhere books are sold). The SECOND most important thing in a relationship is making sure your genitals fit in a way that is pleasing to you (both). Also your dog needs to like this person, that’s important, and if you don’t have a dog break up with whomever you’re dating and adopt a dog and then realize you don’t need anyone because your dog was the soulmate you were looking for this whole time. 

I need like all of the gifs of Kaitlin Large saying things about science. It's for science.

thisdanobrien:

kaitlinlarge:

Little Largetown will live forever as gifs.

cracked:

FOR SCIENCE:

image

image

image

image

image

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See Kaitlin as Josie Noonan in Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3 of Rom.Com.

YES! Science, am I right!?!? Cracked made me feel very special today.

qratefvl:

i want someone i can be all stupid and cute with but then like have passionate rough sex with ya feel

little-liza-jane:

little-liza-jane:

working out how long it’s been since I was last touched is one of the most depressing things.

I’m not even talking about sex at this point.
I’m talking hugs, or handshakes, someone putting their arm around my shoulder, or even someone randomly…